Reach
by Swiftkill23
Summary: Jade Hawke deals with depression and heartbreak as she is stranded with her love on a remote island with other strange refugees.


It was dark, as it always was no matter what hour in Darktown. The distant sound of people could not compare with the sound of my heart that beat frantically in my chest and the even louder sound of my fist beating against his clinic door.

"Anders!" I cried.

No answer.

My heart pounded harder. "Anders, let me in! The Templars are coming!"

Still no answer.

"Open up!"

Suddenly, the door flung itself open, sending me sprawling into the dirt. I scrambled to my feet, gasping at what was before me.

Anders stood at the back of the room, glowing a bright shade of blue as mana swirled around him.

I advanced, moving to grab his hand. "Anders, The Templars -"

He turned to me. His eyes flashed iridescent blue. "I care not for that blasted order!"

"Anders?"

Anders's face contorted into a snarl. "I am not that fool of a mage!" He took a step toward me, and I shrunk back. In one swift moment and with what sounded eerily like breaking bones, Anders and his glowing blue eyes changed to Fenris and his slinking Lyrium tattoos.

"Hawke," he said in his ever so husky voice. His eyes held crushing hated as he glared me down. But behind the hatred, I could feel his sadness seep through. "You loved me first. Why did you go to him of all people? Don't you still love me?"

My eyes burned. "Oh, Fenris..." I wanted to take a step forward, but instead my body fell backwards and slid down the wall a little.

The sadness ceases, replaced by pulsing anger as his face contorted again, changing to the features of my brother.

"Carver..!" My eyes widened, releasing tears of bewilderment as I began to panic. "I'm so sorry..."

His lips were pulled tight in a scowl, one that could only have room for resentment.

"Jade! I'm glad I died all those years ago! Now I don't have to deal with everything you are, pretending to be better than me. I've hated you, right from the start, you damned mage! You and sister!"

He raised a knife, and I flinched and held my arms over my face as if to protect myself.

Instead, I heard a grunt, something warm splattered on me, and the sound of crushing bones again as my brother shifted into Merrill.

"You!" she cried, her voice somewhere between betrayal, anger and disappointment. "You left me to die to that demon!"

I tried to stand taller, but my legs fought against me. "You bargained with it!" I reasoned, my voice shaking. "I tired to get you to listen to me!"

She roared, compleately lost in furiosity as she flung the dagger at me. The seconds suddenly ticked by like minutes as the dagger flew at me and-

I jerked upward, damp with sweat as something furry fell off me and onto the floor with a meow of surprise. I pulled my legs close to me, trying to get my heart to stop pounding.

"Dammit, Revenge," I muttered, my voice cracking softly. I glanced at the sleeping form beside me, the soft sound of breathing the only sound in the dark room. "What have I told you about sleeping on me?"

My partner shifted next to me and groaned as he began to wake.

It had been three years since the Right of Anullment was invoked upon Kirkwall. We had fled through the flames of the city some time ago, abandoning it for good that night.

As I felt my brain flash back to Kirkwall's burning, the memories flooded back through the wall I had tried so hard to make, breaking it like it was no more than a pebble in a raging river.

Merrill was dead. She had made a pact with the demon. It had lied to her, instead striving to wipe out her clan before I had to step in and strike down both it... and her. Carver had died from the Blight in the Deep Roads, as Bethany had died by the ogre in the beginning, before Kirkwall.

As for most of the rest, they had gone their own ways. Varric had stayed awhile, only to disappear while searching for Bianca when she had sliped out of his fingers in a fight and off a large waterfall. I still pray, even now, that his is alright and that he and his Bianca are safe somewhere. Aveline had gone with her husband Donnic to Orlais, despite the war that had started between them and Ferelden. Isabella left on a ship to face Castillon. Several months later, we got a message saying that he was dead and that Isabella was the head of the Coterie.

Fenris had been the first to go though. My heart had been pounded to dust when he had began to leave, breaking the ties of love between us for good with his sad face as he turned to leave, "Can you hear my heart shatter, Jade?" That had been just months before Varric had disappeared. With those heart breaking words, he had gone, sending me into a spiraling depression that I could not crawl out of, not even with Isabella's sick jokes.

"Thinking about him again, love?"

Anders' soft voice drew me back to the real world, breaking me away from my dark thoughts of the past.

I looked back into his eyes. They were his-actually his- not Justice's as he gazed back into mine. Anders had stayed with me. He still struggled with Justice, though he had gotten the upper hand against the spirit since Kirkwall. Justice still had his moments, but I was always able to coax him back into dormancy, leaving me with my real Anders.

I looked down, my shoulder becoming warm under his soft grip.

"The look on his face when he..." I whispered into my knees, unable to finish the sentence.

"Won't you forget him?"

"You can never forget your first love," I answered meekly, lighting a candle with a flick of my wrist and glancing over at Anders. The candle light illuminated his soft features. The worry lines around his eyes were almost gone, and his ragged hair was lighter from age. He was sitting up and watching me with concern in his eyes.

I watched as he lapsed into silent agreement as he thought about Karl, the mage that Anders had fallen in love with in the Ferelden Circle. Karl had begged Anders to kill him after Karl had become Tranquil, and Anders complied, with a bit of prodding.

"Anyway," I said suddenly, throwing my legs over the side of the bed and narrowly missing the dark tabby, "You're up right? I'm sure we've got some patients at the clinic by now."

"Every day!" Anders scoffed, throwing his hands up in frustration and the sheets slid down a bit to show a part of his abs as I went behind a screen to change. "It's like these people can't stop fighting!"

"I'm not sure they know how to," I smirked and pulled my head through a dark red velvet robe. "We're just lucky that they welcome mages here."

"I know," Anders grumbled, and I stepped out from behind the screen. Anders had lit a few more candles and was fastening a buckle on his black coat with feathers on it. "And I don't mean to sound ungreatefull but... What?"

"Is that that coat from Kirkwall?" I asked, staring at the feathers.

"You got it," he smirked, and put Revenge on his shoulder.

"Oooh. Do I get something?"

"Hmmm...You get to come with me to the clinic today!"

"Yay!" I cried, throwing my arms around him in a tight hug. "You know I love to help you with your patients!" I drew back, grabbed his arm, and pulled him out the door and outside.

"Wait, I need to feed the cat!" he gasped, Revenge mewling in protest as its perch rocked and shook from my yanking.

"The cat can eat at the clinic, now come on!"


End file.
